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| | Complementario "Billy the Mountain" Ringtone |
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Mark Volman (lead vocals) Howard Kaylan (lead
vocals) Ian Underwood (woodwinds, keyboards,
vocals) Aynsley Dunbar (drums) Don Preston
(keyboards, mini-moog) Jim Pons (bass, vocals)
Billy the Mountain Billy the Mountain A regular
picturesque Postcardy mountain Residing between
lovely Rosamond and Gorman With his stunning wife
Ethel A tree, a tree.
Billy was a Mountain Ethel was a tree growing off
of his shoulder Billy was a Mountain Billy was a
Mountain Ethel was a tree growing off of his
shoulder Ethel was a tree growing off of his
shoulder ( Hey, hey, hey! ) Billy had two big
Caves for eyes With a cliff for a jaw That would
go up or down And whenever it did He'd puff out
some dust And hack up a boulder, hack. Hack up a
boulder, hack, hack. Hack up a boulder, hack,
hack. Hack up a boulder.
Now, one day, and I believe it was on Tuesday, a
man in checkered double-knit suit drove up in
large El Dorado Cadillac leased from Bob Spreene (
"Where the freeways meet in Downey!" )
and he laid a huge bulging envelope right at the
corner of BILLY THE MOUNTAIN, that was right where
his foot was supposed to be. Now BILLY THE
MOUNTAIN, he couldn't believe it: All those
postcards he'd posed for, for all of those years,
and finally, now at last, his royalties!
"Royalties, royalties, royalties! The royalty
check is in, honey!" ... Yes, BILLY THE
MOUNTAIN was rich! Yes, and his eyeball caves,
they widened in amazement... and his jaw, which
was a cliff, well it ... it dropped thirty feet! A
bunch of dust puffed out ... rocks and boulders
hacked up, hack! hack! ... crushing the Lincoln
...
I gave him the money He acted real funny He hacked
up a rock and It totaled my car Oh do you Know any
trucks Might be bound for the valley I don't wanna
stand here All night in this bar ( Dear Lord ) I
don't wanna stand here All night in this bar ( No
shit ) I don't wanna stand here All night in this
bar
By two o'clock, when bars had already closed down,
Billy had broken the big news to Ethel, AHHHH, and
with dust and boulders everywhere, Billy, choked
with exitement, announced: "Ethel, we're
going on a vacation!"... Yes, and they were
going on a vacation, oh, and Ethel, Ethel, Ethel,
like any little woman, she of course was very
excited ... she creaked a little bit, and some old
birds flew off of her. Billy told Ethel they were
going to... yes, they where going to New York!
"Ethel, we're going to... New York! But first
they were gonna stop in Las Vegas...
"It's off to Las Vegas to check out the
lounges, Pull a few handles and drink a few beers,
oh Ethel, Ethel, my darling, you know that I love
you, I'm glad we could have a vacation this year,
Oh neat-o, glad we could have a vacation this
year."
They left that night, crunchin' across the Mojave
Desert, their voices echoing thru the canyons of
your minds... "Ethel, wanna get a cuppa
cawfee? Howard Johnson's, ahhh there's a Howard
Johnson's! ... Wanna eat some clams? ...
The first noteworhty piece of real estate they
destroyed was Edwards Air Force Base. And to this
very day, wing-nuts and data reduction clerks
alike speak in reverent whispers about that
fateful night when Test Stand Number One and the
rocket sled itself got LUNCHED, I said LUNCHED, by
a famous mountain and his small wooden wife ...
"Word just in to the KTTV news service
undeniably links this mountain and his wife to
drug abuse and payoffs as part of San Joaquin
Valley smut ring. However, we can assure parents
in the Southern California area that a recent
narcotic crackdown in Torrence ... Hawthorne ...
Lomita ... Westchester ... Playa del Rey ... Santa
Monica ... Tujunga ... Sunland ... San Fernando
... Pacoima ... Sylmar ... Newhall ... Canoga Park
... Palmdale ... Glendale ... Irwindale ...
Rolling Hills ... Granada Hills ... Shadow Hills
... Cheviot Hills ... will provide the secret
evidence the Palmdale Grand Jury has needed to
seek a criminal indictement and pave the way for
stiffer legislation, increased federal aid, and
avert a crippling strike of bartenders and
veterinarians throughout the inland empire
..."
Within the week, Jerry Lewis had hosted a telethon
( La La La nice lady ) to raise funds for the
injured, "injured", and homeless,
"homeless" in Glendale, as Billy had
just levelled it. And a few miles right outside of
town Billy caused a 'Oh mine/my(?) papa' in the
earth's crust, right over the secret underground
dumps, right near the Jack In The Box on Glenoaks
where they keep the pools of old poison gas and
obsolete germs bombs, just as a freak tornado
cruised through ... Yes, it was about three
o'clock in the afternoon when little Howard Kaplan
was sitting on his porch ( "Toto...!")
just playing ( "Come here, Toto ...!")
and having a nice time with his little accordion,
("Toto...!") and this weird wind came
up, direct from Glendale, blowing those terrible
germs in his direction ... and all this caused by
huge mountain ("Aunty Em") somewhere
over the rainbow, blue birds fly, sucking up
two-thirds of it ( suck, suck, suck) for an
ultimetly dispersal over vast stretches of ...
WATTS!!!
Now, unless I misunderstood, it was right outside
of Columbus, Ohio when Billy received his notice
to report for his induction physical. Now lemme
tell ya, Ethel said, now Ethel, Ethel said she
wasn't gonna let him go ... "I'm not gonna
let you go, Billy" ... that's right, we now
have confirmed reports from an informed Orange
County minister that Ethel is still an active
communist and it is this reporter's opinion that
she also practices covent WITCH-CRAFT ...
It was about this time that the telephone rang
inside of the secret briefcase belonging to one
mortal man who might be able to stop all of this
senseless destruction and save America herself.
And I'm sorry to disappoint some of you, it was
not Chief Redden. This one man was Studebacher
Hoch, fantastic new super hero of the current
economic slump. Now, some folks say he looked like
Zubin Mehta (Zubin Mehta); still others say
"Bullshit, honey, it was just another greasy
guy who happened to be born next to the frozen
beef pies at Boney's Market..."; still others
[ Letras de Canciones encontraron en es.mp3lyrics.org/VFE ]
say "Pshaw/Shaun(?), and piss on you, Jack,
he's just a crazy Iatlian who drove a red car
..." You see, nobody ever really knew for
sure because Studebacher was sooooo mysterious
....
He was so ( he was so, he was so) mysterious He
was so ( he was so, he was so) mysterious 'Cuz
when a person gets to be such a hero, folks And
marvelouse beyond compute You can never really
tell about a guy like that Whether he's really a
nice person Or if he just smiles a lot Or if he
has a son named Pinocchio or what. Whether he's
really a nice person Or if he has a son named
Pinocchio or what. Some men say he could fly Some
men say he could swim Others say he could sing
like Neil Sedaka, And all the girls in Flushing
would be amazed of him Two, three amazed of him
... amazed ...
Time passed. January, February, March, July,
Wednesdey, August, Irwindale, two-thirty in the
afternoon, Sunday, Monday, Funny Cars, Walnuts,
City of Industry, Big John Masamanian ... So when
the phone ring in the secret briefcase, a strong
masculine hand with a Dudley Do-Right wristwatch
and flexy braclet grabbed it and answered in a
deep, calmly assured voice: "So... ah...
yeah, yeah hello already ... what? ... well, yeah?
... Ah-are you kidding? ... You're not kidding ...
a mountain ... with a tree growing off of its
shoulder? Aw, you're fulla shit, man... ah listen,
by the way, before you go on; did you get those
white albums I sent ya with the pencil on the
front, yeah? Yeah, you should move some of those
for me ... We're having a lot of,...listen, so
kiss little Jakee on the head... and how's your
wife's hemorrhoids?...ah, that's too
bad...Listen...so you've got a mountain, with a
tree, listen, causing...well, let me write this
down... sorta take a few notes here...yeah? ...to
El Segundo, huh?...causing
untold destruction..( my baby, my baby )...wanted
for draft evasion?... an expense account? ... and
per diem, too?..."
SOME MEN SAY HE COULD DANCE They said he could
dance And of course they were right ...
Ladies and gentelmen, this is it: The Studebacher
Hoch Dancing Lesson & Cosmic Prayer For
Guidence, featuring Aynsley Dunbar! ... HIT IT!
... TWIRLY, TWIRLY, TWIRLY, TWIRLY, TWIRLY,
Fillmore ... Hey, right hand from a heart Left
hand from a heart Right hand from a heart Left
hand from a left shoulder To the heart. Fillmore,
Fillmore ... Nobody can dance like Studebacher
Hoch ... So many rumors have spread about
Studebacher Hoch ... consider this rumor which was
published about three weeks ago in ROLLING STONE (
oh, it's gotta be true! ) ... Studebacher Hoch can
write the Lord's Prayer on the head of a
pin!" (NO!) do-do-do do-do-doot doot do-do-do
... ... I'm so hip ... beef pies ... he was born
next to the beef pies, underneath Joni Mitchell's
autographed picture, right beside Elliot Robert's
big bank book, next to the boat where Crosby
flushed away all his stash and the cops got him in
the boat and drove away, to the can where Neil
Young slipped another disc ...
[Frozen ??? pie Frozen ??? pie Frozen ??? pie And
that was the main influence on him The influence
of a frozen beef pie]
Boldly springing into action he phoned his wife
who ran a modeling school, whereupon he... yes, he
ran around the back of the Broadway at Hollywood
Boulevard and Vine to see if he could find himself
some big, large, unused cardboard boxes ( no shit!
)... after which he hit up the Ralph's on Sunset
for some Aunt Jemima syrup, some Kaiser boiler
foil and pair of blunt sissors, yeah! ... yes, and
in the parking lot of Ralph's ... where no prices
are lower prices than Ralph's... in the parking
lot of Ralph's, in between a pair of customized
trucks where nobody was looking, he cut out some
really, really, really nice wings and he covered
them thoroughly with foil ...
Then he took those wings and wedged one under each
of his powerful arms and sneaked into a telephone
booth ..YES,YES!! And then he shut the fucking
door! ... And he pulled down his blue denim
policeman-type trouser pants, and he spread even
amounts of Aunt Jemima maple syrup all over the
inside of his legs! ... Soon the booth was filling
with flies ( help me! help me! help me! ) ... He
held open the legs of his boxer shorts so they
could all get in, and when each and every one of
those little cocksucking flies had gone into his
pants and they were lapping up all that maple
syrup, he bent over and he put his head between
his legs and he said in a very clear, impressive,
Ron-Hubbard-type voice: "New York"...
And the booth and everything lifted up, out of
parking lot, and into the sky.
Studebacher Hoch YEAH, YEAH, Studebacher Hoch
Studebacher Hoch Studebacher Hoch YEAH, YEAH,
Studebacher Hoch Studebacher Hoch He's coating his
legs With Aunt Jemima syrup up and down His shorts
will be filled with flies That will be buzzing all
around Studebacher Hoch is really outa sight
Studebacher Hoch, he does it every night
Studebacher Hoch, he treats the flies all right
Studebacher Hoch That's why they never bite, hey!
Hey please to New York Fly to New York
He could be a dog Or a frog Or a lesbian queen
(Fly to New York) He could be a narc Or a lady
marine Or he might play dirty He's over thirty
Getting old ... I don't know His peculiar attire
And the flies he requires Keep leading him on 'Cuz
Ethel is gone They keep leading him on 'Cuz Ethel
is gone And the mountain she's on
And speaking of mountains - - we'll join
Studebacher Hoch on the edge of BILLY THE
MOUNTAIN's mouth .. take it away! ...
"Ah ... ya, ya, ya, hey-ah, Billy, listen ...
I've come to reason with you ... our great country
needs you in the armed forces ... Your number came
up ... ya can't go on running like this forever
..."
Ah, but Ethel just shook her twigs angrily. But
Studebacher Hoch, calm, cool, collected and
unperturbed, continued:
"Ya, well listen ... listen you communist
sonofabitch ... you better get your ass down there
for your fuckin' physical or I'll see to it that
you get used for fill dirt in some impending New
Jersey marsh reclamation ... And your girlfiend
there will wind up disguised as series of brooms,
primative ironing boards or a dog house ... get
the ( cough, cough) get the picture?"
Ya, well Billy just laughed:
"Ha, ha, ha. If they think they're gonna
draft me, they're crazy."
Unfortunately, because Studebacher Hoch was
standing on the edge of BILLY THE MOUNTAIN's mouth
when the giant mountain laughed ... Studebacher
Hoch lost his footing and fell screaming, two
hundred feet into the rubble below ... (
"Aaahhhhh, oh fuck, I'm gonna need a truss
...")
Ah listen, that only goes to show you And it'l
show you once again that A mountain is something
you don't wanna fuck with You don't wanna fuck
with Don't fuck around Don't fuck around Don't
fuck with Billy, No And don't fuck with Ethel You
saw what just happened To the guy with the flies
Don't fuck around Don't fuck around Don't fuck
around Don't fuck around Don't fuck around Don't
fuck around Don't fuck around With Biddilly,
Biddilly Biddilly The Mountain
Eddie, are you kidding? Eddie, are you kidding? Oh
I forgot to mention this is where we take our
intermission. we will see you in a few minutes
Thank you, We'll be back. |
Ver esta canción en diferentes idiomas (traducción automática) Música de "Frank Zappa" de la Transferencia directa
Complimentary "Billy the Mountain" Ringtone |
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